Sex role play is a such a fun way to dive into your sexual fantasies, and even try your hand at a spot of power play – if that’s what you’re into. As society becomes increasingly open about sex and kinks, it’s no surprise that more of us are exploring sexual scenarios and fantasy via acting and imagination. But if you’ve never tried role play before, it can be a daunting prospect – where do you even begin?!
“Role play has a bit of a marmite quality to it,” says sex educator and author Ruby Rare. “In my experience if you’re into it, then you’re really into it, and if you’re not, it can feel quite intimidating or even off-putting to give it a go.”
That’s not to say it’s out of the question for those just wanting to dip their toes in. In fact, as Ruby points out, role play is a particularly good way of “leaning further into playful erotic fantasy, while still having the familiarity and security of being with a pre-existing partner”.
The most important thing when trying something new is, as always, communication, communication, communication! So it’s a good idea to have a chat with your partner(s) beforehand. This warm-up discussion is a place to cover expectations, boundaries, and safe words. Making space for trust and open communication will help make sure you have a safe (and sexy!) time. “Even if you’re playing out a more rough or dominant fantasy, a foundation of care, respect, and communication are essential,” adds Ruby. “[It’s particularly essential that] everyone knows they can pause or stop the scene at any time if they want to.”
Plus, good news – when it comes to nerves or awkwardness, Ruby recommends embracing it. “Unless you’re a highly skilled actor and ready to go full method, the pressure to be completely serious can make things feel less playful and fun,” she says. “Lean into laughter, because while it may be really hot, what you’re doing is also quite wonderfully silly.”
So, whether a sexy doctor, hot plumber, or a naughty builder role turns you on, or if a saucy ghost or witch fantasy is more up your street, here are some sex role play ideas to spark the imagination.
Sex role play ideas
1. Boss and employee
Role play often relies on breaking taboos and creating power dynamics. Therefore, unsurprisingly, work-based role plays are a bedroom staple. But, if you want to truly channel the office vibes, maybe leave the bed altogether and try having sex on a table or desk. While this can result in a slightly bruised bum or desperate fumbling as you try to move your laptop out of harm’s way, it’ll be worth it overall. Just make sure you’ve moved any sharp pencils from the area...
2. The classic maid or butler
This role play can have as much historical flair as you like. If you’re a keen historian and/or have watched Bridgerton’s sex scenes (aren’t they roughly the same thing?), you might want to play at being a member of at-home help staff, obeying a master or mistress.
Sex Role Play Accessories
Lapdance Straight or Wavy Long Auburn Wig
Maid To Pleasure
£28
Hospital Hottie Nurse Outfit
£28
Tuxedo Bunny Outfit
£28
police Police Officer Body
£30
3. A stranger
Get your partner to approach you as though you’ve never met and are complete strangers, to treat your body like they’ve never seen it before, and to take you with all the frenzied lust that drives two people who don’t know each other’s names to jump into bed together.
It’s the best of both worlds: all the fun of stranger sex without any of the anxiety that the person you’re sleeping with might be an absolute fuckboy/girl/person who will ghost you tomorrow.
This role play’s an easy one to accessorise with wigs, too.
4. An erotic massage therapist
Given that massages essentially make someone as horny as possible without ever getting them off, a massage that takes you ‘all the way’ is a real treat.
But, if you’re playing the masseuse, make sure you pay attention to all the different parts of your partner’s body before you start to getting it on. That way the pay off will be even more satisfying. You can also try out lingam massage or yoni massage, if tantric massage is your thing.
5. An authority figure (like a GP or medical professional)
The doctor/patient scenario is hot because it involves an authority figure. But this becomes still hotter when the authority figure has a reason to touch you – and if you have a sexy doctor’s or nurse’s outfit.
Try giving your partner a ‘physical’ and explain to them that a normal side effect of such procedures is that they might start to really, really want to have sex with you.
6. Outdoorsy sex scenes
By this I mean rural romps... I’m talking farm hand or milk maid-based role play. Practice perfecting your southern American twang and pretend you’re rolling around in a haystack. Try your best to recreate the naughtiness of doing it alfresco as well as the romance of the wilderness – even if in reality, you’re only shagging with the window open and rolling about laughing at those dodgy accents.
7. Your first time
Because a lot of people’s real first times were either painful, embarrassing or unfulfilling, it’s fun to be able to recreate the event. Maybe put on a soundtrack that reminds you of your teens and try to remember that time of sexual frustration. Bring that extreme desire back to the surface and allow it to erupt all over again – but this time, hopefully, with a little more control and skill.
8. Yogi master/instructor
It doesn’t matter how flexible you are, anyone can make a yoga role play work. You can go pro, contorting your body into impressive yet erotic positions, or you can embrace being a total novice and simply waggle your bum in the air claiming it’s ‘downward dog’.
Whatever your aptitude, pretending to be a yoga instructor can be a particularly fun, experimental role play, encouraging you to adopt ambitions positions and to serenely instruct your partner where to place their limbs.
9. Monarchy, darling
Whatever your personal, political stance on the monarchy, regal role plays can be very hot. You may not fancy any of the royals, but that doesn’t mean you don’t fancy playing at being a princess or prince yourself. I mean, I reckon the only reason we haven’t abolished the monarchy is that we find the whole thing, well, sexy.
But don’t let the royals have all the fun – bring the eroticism of dynasty to your house share and command that your lover reveal their *ahem* sceptre.
10. Best friends turned lovers
If you’ve ever had a crush on one of your best mates, you’ll know the sexual tension can be very, very real. Play on that, with the stolen glances and uncertainty as to whether they feel the same about you. The push and pull of trying to figure out whether and when to make a move can be super hot.
11. The plumber
If you’ve ever seen an old school porno, you’ll know when the plumber, carpenter, electrician, handy man/woman/person shows up, things can get pretty heated. Maybe you’re home alone and your kitchen sink has sprung a leak, so you’re all wet and you don’t know what to do... and just then the plumber turns up to save the day...
12. Pilot/captain
Look, anyone who can drive (is that the correct verb?) a boat or plane is hot in my book. Imagine you’re a passenger on a private jet or a luxury yacht, and over the intercom comes your pilot/captain’s voice: ‘Please report to the cabin immediately.’ What happens when you get there is up to you...
